Do you have any regular connection rituals?
Relationship rituals are a great way to regularly check in with your partner and to make time for connection. The concept of rituals for connection comes from Dr John Gottman’s research at the Gottman Institute.
According to the Gottman Institute, a ritual for connection is a deliberate practice that partners regularly engage in to nurture closeness, emotional intimacy, and a sense of shared meaning in their relationship. These rituals are often small but meaningful habits that become part of a couple’s life together. Rituals for connection are:
Intentional – They’re consciously created and agreed upon.
Predictable – They occur with some regularity (e.g. daily check-ins, bedtime routines).
Emotionally meaningful – They reinforce love, security, and togetherness.
Protective – They help buffer against disconnection and conflict.
Customizable – They reflect the couple’s unique culture and values.
You can create a ritual organically without realising or decide on one together. Either way, the power comes from consistently practicing the ritual and making time and space for regular connection.
Examples of connection rituals include:
Morning or Evening Rituals
Connecting at the beginning and end of the day e.g. spending time together before bed, eating a meal without any devices or starting the day by checking in over breakfast.
Weekend Rituals
Dedicating time on the weekend to spend together and doing something you both enjoy e.g. going for a walk without your phone and catching up on the week that's been.
Leaving Rituals
Taking a moment to say goodbye properly before you part ways for the day e.g. a long kiss or hug.
Returning Ritual
Greeting each other after being apart in a way that helps you reconnect e.g. a long hug or asking about each other's day.
Date Ritual
Making a plan to devote time together regularly e.g. a monthly date night or a holiday every year.
Connection Ritual
When you look into your partner's eyes and hold their gaze for 5-7 minutes without talking. Or sit facing each other and put your heads together, touching your foreheads, taking 7 long, deep breaths in unison.
I hope this helps!
