Love Shadows
Discover Which of the 10 Core Blocks Are Keeping You Stuck in Love
Hi! I’m Lucille
I’m a Therapist tuned Mentor, Psycho-Sexologist, Behavioural Scientist, Educator, and Author with an all-consuming fascination for everything love, sex, dating, and relationships—so much so that I wrote a book about it: All In, published by Penguin Random House Australia.
I’ve spent years diving deep into the science and psychology of human connection, earning a Master of Psychosexual Therapy, Post-Graduate Degrees in Counselling and Public Health, and a Bachelor of Behavioural Science with a Second Major in Sociology. Along the way, I trained in Schema Therapy, Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Imago and somatic approaches…just to name a few. All of it shaped how I understand the patterns, blocks, and habits that keep people stuck in love.
Love Shadows, my signature framework and mentoring program, comes from my work as a relationship therapist and psychosexual therapist. After years of working in clinical practice, I noticed the same 10 core blocks aka shadows, showing up again and again—patterns that quietly keep people stuck in love. Love Shadows is built from these real-world themes, shaped by what I saw in clinical practice, and the exact work that helped people break free, shift their patterns, and start experiencing real, lasting change in love and relationships.
These days, I have taken a step back from therapy and focus solely on my educational courses and my individual and group mentorship programs. This work is rooted in psychology, attachment science, neuroscience, and the way our nervous systems shape love. It’s where insight meets action, unconscious patterns become conscious choices, and the old story finally gives way to a new one. It’s for those who are ready to get honest with themselves, face their shadows and do the work to create real change.
How To Work With Me
3-Month Mentoring Program
Join the Group or 1-1 Mentoring Program
There are parts of you quietly running the show in your love life, wounds, fears, and patterns that keep you stuck, chasing, settling, or over-giving. Love Shadows is about uncovering those hidden blocks, breaking the cycles, and finally showing up in love from self-respect, clarity, and choice.
If you’re done repeating the same painful patterns and ready to finally see your blocks clearly, take ownership, and do the work to change them—this program is for you.
This program is a hands-on, science-backed mentoring program where we dive deep into the hidden patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that quietly hijack your relationships. We explore the shadows, wounds, blocks, and protective strategies you built before you even knew what love was, and how they are keeping you stuck. And you get the tools to finally break free.
This is where you learn to spot your patterns with brutal honesty, and do the work to create real, lasting change in how you show up in love.
On-Demand Mentoring Sessions
90-Minute On-Demand Sessions. Available Worldwide
These one-off sessions are for anyone ready to break their patterns, address their Love Shadows and redefine what they accept, expect and attract in love. If you’re ready to stop replaying your old patterns and start choosing differently, this is for you.
1-1 sessions are a supportive space to uncover the shadows, patterns, blocks, and habits that have been keeping you stuck, and to finally break them.
What Brings You Here?
You’re likely here because something in your life keeps repeating.
A pattern. A wound. A block you can’t out-think or outrun.
You’re smart, self-aware, and perceptive, and yet the same relational loops keep pulling you back.
And you’ve probably tried everything.
Therapy. Attachment styles. Dating rules. “Inner child” posts on Instagram.
Maybe you’ve analysed your ex to death.
Maybe you’ve analysed yourself and your childhood to death.
But deep down, you know the truth:
There’s something operating beneath the surface that you haven’t touched yet, and it’s keeping you stuck. That is what I call your Love Shadows.
Love Shadows are the patterns, protections, and wounds that have been shaping your experience of love without your conscious consent.
They’re adaptations—built by the child you once were, fueled by the love you did or didn’t receive, and reinforced every time you chose safety over authenticity.
And here’s the part most people get wrong:
This work has nothing to do with your ex.
You can project, diagnose, and analyse everyone around you, but unless you’re willing to get radically honest with yourself and about yourself, nothing changes.
Shadow work forces you inward, back to the parts of you that you buried to survive. Back to the truth you’ve been avoiding.
Because your patterns don’t start in your adult relationships.
They start in your nervous system.
In the way your body learned to anticipate loss.
In the way you abandoned yourself to belong.
In the way you learned to protect instead of connect.
This is what we do in Love Shadows: uncover what’s really getting in the way of you experiencing the kind of love you want.
When you uncover your Love Shadows, everything starts to make sense—why you choose who you choose, why you react the way you do, why you keep abandoning yourself in the hope of connection.
This work is about reclaiming your agency, your boundaries, your worth, your power. It’s about finally choosing differently—in love, and in how you show up for yourself.
more offerings
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‘All In’ is an inclusive and empowering guide for navigating the intricacies of modern romance. Whether you’re looking to rejuvenate an existing relationship or embark on a new journey towards meaningful connection, All In serves as your modern-day compass, offering practical wisdom and heartfelt insights to help you cultivate the love and intimacy you truly desire.
‘All In’ is now available in print, ebook, and audio across Australia and New Zealand. To find out where you can get your hands (or ears) on a copy, check out the Penguin Random House website here.
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I provide free psychoeducation material online via Instagram and Tik Tok @lucille.shackleton, and YouTube @LoveSkillsWithLucille
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I am no longer offering therapy. The only way to work with me is through my group program or mentoring service.
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If you are interested in having me on your podcast, speaking at an event, or providing comments for media, please reach out to me directly via email hello@lucilleshackleton.com
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Are you a therapist or coach who wants to grow your online presence, create impactful content, and build a thriving private practice? I offer mentoring that helps you show up confidently online, engage your audience, share educational material that truly resonates, and develop a private practice you love.
Sessions are 45 minutes, online via Zoom, and cost $299 USD. Interested? Reach out to me directly via hello@lucilleshackleton.com to get started.
…because I see you, I get you, I was you!
For years, I couldn’t figure out why I kept ending up in the same kinds of relationships. Knowing better… but still doing the same thing.
It wasn’t until I stopped asking “Why do I keep choosing this?” and started asking “How can I change this?” that everything began to shift.
That’s actually how I became a relationship therapist. I didn’t study relationships just to help others — I did it to help myself! I wanted to understand why smart, capable, self-aware people like us get stuck in cycles that don’t serve us, and how to finally break them.
Through studying behavioural science, psychotherapy, relationship therapy, and psychosexual therapy, I learned that the patterns and blocks we experience in love aren’t who we are — they’re how we learned to survive. And once we understand them, we can change them.
In my years working as a relationship therapist and psychosexual therapist, I noticed the same 10 core blocks showing up again and again—patterns that quietly keep people stuck in love. Love Shadows is built from these real-world themes, shaped by what I saw in clinical practice, and the exact work that helped people break free from their blocks, shift their patterns, and start experiencing real, lasting change in love and relationships.
Today, I’ve stepped away from therapy so I can make a bigger impact. I’ve created an individual and group mentoring program to bring together everything I’ve learned — personally and professionally — to a space where I can help people like you stop repeating old patterns, stop self-abandoning, stop chasing, raise their standards and start choosing love that honours their worth.
Everything I share comes from both sides of the couch — the therapist and the human because I’ve been there… stuck, frustrated, and wondering if real change is even possible.
My work is for those who have already done the work but still feel stuck. You’ve done the therapy, read the books, listened to the podcasts — you don’t need more of the same. What you need are the tools, structure, and support to finally change your patterns and address the blocks keeping you stuck.
Why I do what I do…
My Approach
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Depth-Oriented
This approach honours the parts of you that operate beneath conscious awareness—the patterns, beliefs, and habits that have quietly been shaping your dating life. By exploring your inner world—the stories you tell yourself, the defences you’ve built, and the behaviours that show up in relationships—you begin to see what’s been running the show. Bringing awareness to these hidden layers gives you the power to shift them, creating space to attract people who truly fit your life, build deeper intimacy, and show up in love with authenticity, worth and confidence.
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Goal Oriented
This approach is about getting crystal clear on what you truly want in love and creating relationships that reflect your worth. It’s for those who are done settling, people-pleasing, and repeating patterns that leave them frustrated or heartbroken. Together, we’ll examine your dating habits and patterns: which ones are serving you, and which ones are keeping you stuck. You’ll learn to set boundaries, raise your standards, and embody self-respect, self-trust, and confidence in your dating life. Whether in individual sessions or group mentoring, you’ll gain the clarity, tools, and support to stop chasing, start choosing, and finally attract relationships that match your life, your values, and your worth.
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Somatic
Your body holds the stories your mind can’t always reach. By tuning into sensations, breath, and tension, we learn how to calm your nervous system, create safety, and release the blocks that keep you repeating old patterns in dating and relationships. This somatic awareness supports you to step out of old relational habits, show up more fully, and experience love in a way that feels embodied, grounded, and safe.
FAQs
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If you’re done repeating the same painful patterns and ready to finally see your blocks clearly, take ownership, and do the work to change them—this program is for you.
This program is a hands-on, science-backed mentoring program where we dive deep into the hidden patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that quietly hijack your relationships. We explore the wounds, blocks, and protective strategies you built before you even knew what love was, and how they are keeping you stuck. And you get the tools to finally break free.
This is where you stop abandoning yourself, stop settling, stop performing, and stop choosing from your unconscious blocks. This is where you learn to spot your patterns with brutal honesty, and do the work to create real, lasting change in how you show up in love.
All sessions are via Zoom in English. The mentoring program is offered in two formats - a group format of up to 8 people per group, or a completely customised individual format.
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This is a one-on-one, transformational approach designed for people ready to step fully into themselves, grow personally, and enhance their relationships. Each session provides a deep, focused space to explore your love blocks and shift the patterns, habits, beliefs, and behaviours that have been holding you back.
Each session is 90-minutes and is held online via Zoom. There is no fixed number of sessions you need to book or engage in. Have one, or more it’s totally guided by you.
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While therapy focuses on healing past wounds, processing trauma, and resolving psychological challenges, this mentorship is forward-focused and growth-oriented. It’s designed to help you understand your patterns, gain clarity, and take intentional action in your life and relationships.
Unlike traditional therapy, which often revolves around exploring past experiences, the mentorship is practical, goal-driven, and transformational, combining self-discovery, somatic work, mindset work, and actionable strategies to create lasting change.
This is specifically for people who have done therapy, understand their patterns but still just cannot seem to shift them. They get it on an intellectual level, but can’t seem to get the change they really want. That was me, and that is why I have created this offering.
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‘All In’ is now available in print, ebook, and audio. To find out where you can get your hands (or ears) on a copy, check out the Penguin Random House website here.
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I am no longer offering therapy. The only way to work with me directly is through my mentoring program or to book a 1-1 mentoring session.
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Yes. For the individual and group mentoring programs, you have the option to pay in full or to pay in 3 instalments.
I do not offer payment plans for one-off mentoring sessions or educational resources.
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All sales of services and educational resources are final and non-refundable.
I encourage you to read the terms and conditions HERE before purchasing any educational resources, enrolling in the mentoring programs or purchasing a 1-1 session to ensure it’s the right fit for you.
Please note* I have a 48 hour cancellation policy for 1-1 sessions.