Do you argue about the same thing all the time?
All relationships have some issues that are not solvable. According to the Gottman Institute, about 69% of issues are perpetual and not able to be resolved due to personality and value differences. This is why it’s so important to learn how to manage them and let go of the idea that everything always needs to be solved, because it’s not so much about resolving issues, it’s more about learning to manage them.
If you struggle with the concept of unsolvable issues and are not sure how to productively manage them, here are some tips.
How to manage disagreements you cannot resolve:
Seek to Understand: Listen carefully to the other person's perspective. Try to understand their reasoning and the underlying values or emotions that inform their viewpoint. Active listening can help foster empathy and build a foundation for future dialogue.
Agree to Disagree: Sometimes, it's best to acknowledge that you have differing opinions and that neither of you is likely to change your stance. In such cases, agree to disagree and focus on finding common ground or areas where you can work together.
Maintain Respect: It's crucial to maintain respect for the other person's viewpoint, even if you strongly disagree with it. Avoid personal attacks or disrespectful language, as this can escalate the conflict.
Find Common Goals: Even in the midst of disagreements, there may be aspects of the issue where you can find commonality and work together toward a shared objective.
Explore Compromise: In some cases, a compromise may be possible. This involves finding a middle ground that both people can live with, even if it doesn't fully align with their initial positions.
Take a Break: If the disagreement becomes heated, it's okay to take a break. A cooling-off period can provide time for reflection and a chance to revisit the issue later with a calmer perspective.
Focus on the Big Picture: Consider the broader context and impact on the relationship. Sometimes, it's more important to preserve the relationship than to "win" a particular argument.
An Opportunity for Growth: Use disagreements as opportunities for growth. Even if you don't change your mind, engaging in thoughtful discussions can help build understanding and compassion.
Seek Feedback: Ask each other for feedback about how the conversation went and what could be done differently in the future to improve communication and understanding.
I hope this helps!
Lucille
